The Existential Toaster
And Friends
Toaster remembered how excited he had been when The Woman gave him more than just a passing glance like all the other shoppers had done. Well, there was the one college student that had almost bought him, but then her friend talked her into saving up for her next tattoo instead. The Woman had picked him up and read his box. She read the boxes next to him and looked back and forth between the potential purchases. Please please please please please, toaster thought to himself, hoping against hope she would whisk him away from the stale, soulless shelves of the mega store and make him part of her family. He could imagine the pristine counter lined with his fellow kitchen gadgets and utensils and hear the laughter as the family gathered together to share meals and life. After what seemed like a solid year, The Woman shook her head and put him in her cart.
“It’s just a freakin’ toaster, Tina.” Toaster was too excited to finally be in a shopping cart, moving away from the shelves of lost appliances to take the “just” in her statement too seriously. He was too excited to finally be going to a home, to his home. He was surprised how quickly the home became his home. It only took a couple days before he settled in, and that same rush hit him every morning as soon as the automatic drip coffee pot began her early morning brewing. He always found himself counting the seconds until The Woman came in to slide the two pieces of multigrain bread into his slots. Then, he could work his magic to make them a perfect, golden brown. He made a game of guessing what she’d put on the toast; would it be peanut butter or regular butter today? Maybe some of that whipped cream cheese with the honey and walnuts in it used to treat herself when she felt like the numbers on the scale warranted it. The anticipation of breakfast time made the world feel whole.
At least until it ended.
The emptiness that hit him when she finished her toast and coffee. The hustle and bustle out the door to work was crushing. The rest of the day dragged on in excruciating slow motion. Sometimes The Girl would bounce in from school with a gaggle of friends in tow, and they would use him to quell the black hole of hunger that seemed a constant with teenagers. The Girl pumped out frenetic energy that swallowed him up, and he had to concentrate extra hard to get the golden brown that was so easy and automatic in the calm mornings with The Woman. The Girl left a sea of crumbs, open bread bags, and jars in her wake, but the giggles and melodrama he got to witness while the girls feasted seemed to put something right in his heart.
The Woman had just left for work and a despondent sigh escaped him as his mind wandered through his time with The Woman and The Girl. Addie gave him a sidelong glance.
“That sounded heavy. What’s up?”
Toaster looked over at his ancient friend, the sight of the coffee stains and scratched paint that marked her time in service doing more than a little to soothe his soul. He was grateful to have Addie; she was a great listener and seemed to understand everything. Can Opener and Coffee Grinder didn’t have that kindness about them. They tended to be more practical and didn’t take to philosophy very well. Their comments could be quite sharp too, which made sense given the nature of their purpose. Still, he was glad The Woman nestled him next to Addie. She was the perfect counter mate for a new appliance.
“Oh, I don’t know. Just miss The Woman, I guess.”
“It does get quiet around here when they aren’t home, doesn’t it?”
Toaster nodded and looked at the counter.
“Do you think…..”
“What, little man?”
“Well, do you ever wonder if there isn’t more to life than this?”
“Than what?”
Toaster huffed, frustration pushing its way up from his gut. He surprised himself with the intensity of his irritation. Maybe that’s what balanced out the joy and excitement he felt every morning.
“This. Every day it’s the same thing. We make their food and their coffee, and then they leave us, forget about us until they need us again.” Toaster’s voice rose in pitch and volume and caused the other appliances to toss him a sideways glance, even the refrigerator, and he was pretty much unflappable. Addie smiled at Toaster, and the warmth she radiated magically eased his distress, as it usually did.
“My dear, I don’t think you understand just what a big part of their lives we are.”
“How? They spend only minutes with us every day. How can that be the basis for anything?”
Addie chuckled deep back in her throat, the sound as rich as the coffee in her belly. She took a deep breath and looked up at the ceiling as she took a moment to compose her thoughts.
“One time, I heard The Woman talking to her mother on the phone. They were talking about the stray bits and pieces of their day and the hustle and bustle that tied it all together. The Woman told her mother that we make up the favorite part of her day.”
“Really?” Toaster questioned Addie with his expression; he knew he could trust her to tell the truth, but something about her statement seemed impossible.
“Really. The Woman told her there was something sacred about sitting at the counter with her warm, crunchy toast and the hot perfectly bitter coffee that made her feel like everything was going to be okay. The ritual of food and drink centered all the dips and dives that cluttered yesterday and most likely lay waiting for her when she walked out the door. Toast and coffee was safe and warm and home.”
Home. Toast instantly flashed back to the elation he felt when The Woman put him in her cart to make him part of her home. In that moment, he understood how something could be so simple and yet have such power, such pull. He glanced around the kitchen and could tell all the other appliances were listening and was glad of it. He hoped they felt as seen and as vital as he did.
“Yeah, maybe you’re right.”
The kitchen settled into the silence of the morning. There wasn’t the empty or anticipatory feel that usually filled the space. Today there was a sense of gratitude that hummed along with the constant murmur of the appliances. Today, when The Girl came home with her friends, the appliances would gleam with pride amidst the girls and their chattering laughter. They would feel the importance of their role and understand the deep meaning of their simple existence.
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